Holes in the Holidays
by Dimcairien
Summary: Charlie thinks about how the holidays are difficult after a family member has passed away and how the missing piece of the family can never be replaced. One-shot.


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**_

_**A/N A quick story about how holidays often are difficult after a loved one has passed away. It's told through Charlie's perspective.  
**_

They always say that the first holiday without a loved one is the hardest, but all of the holidays are hard. Yes, the first one may be the most difficult with coming to terms with the fact that someone will never be there again, but whenever there is a family gathering of any sort, that hole will always be there. The ache in it gradually diminishes, but there always will be an emptiness where that person once was.

It was like that for my family after the battle of Hogwarts. The several birthdays were difficult, but Christmas was the worst of any family gathering so far. Christmas is a time meant for family and friends. There aren't supposed to be irreplaceable holes in a family, but death always brings that.

It was horrible getting ready for Christmas, knowing that one of my little brothers wasn't going to be there, wasn't ever going to be there again. I didn't know what to do. I barely could stand to be with people, but at the same time I didn't want to be alone.

We gathered in the sitting room, rather awkwardly as no one knew what to do. There was the empty chair in the corner, the chair that my brother, my brother Fred, would never sit in again, never tell jokes from, never finish George's sentences. The list of nevers could go on for just about forever.

Dinner was quiet, which never happens in the Weasley family. Normally Bill, Ron, and I usually are jabbering on about Quidditch with Ginny chiming in every so often. The twins usually were planning some kind of prank. Mum and Dad often would banter and Percy would discuss politics or other boring things with Dad. It was too quiet this day. If anyone talked it was in a low whisper. Everyone was uncomfortable, which shouldn't be as we were a close family. Even Harry and Hermione, who were practically family, didn't know what to do. I knew that Fred wouldn't have wanted us to still be extremely solemn, but none of us knew what to do otherwise. Needless to say, that holiday was basically a disaster.

Fred's birthday set us all back though. We couldn't get through the day without breaking down several times. George was quiet the whole day, not wanting to celebrate. It had been ingrained in us since we were young that 1 April is the twins birthday, not an individual birthday. It did not feel right only celebrating George's birthday, if celebrating can be used as it was not a cheerful day. A few days later it was Easter. It too was quiet, though not as stiff of a day as Christmas had been as we were gradually getting used to the empty space. There were a few strained smiles, but it still was too quiet. 2 May was also an extremely difficult day. Any anniversary of a difficult event is hard to get through. There was not a dry eye on that day.

Slowly the summer and fall birthdays passed with gradual improvement in the cheerfulness and we were back at Christmas, for the second one with the irreplaceable hole. The first big holidays might be the worst, but the hole can never be repaired, even if the family is growing. Harry and Ginny were engaged and Ron and Hermione were as good as engaged. Also, Bill and Fleur were due to give birth to their first child in May. There might be more members of the family, but none will ever replace the missing person. No one can ever replace Fred.

The years passed and the family grew still bigger: marriages and births. There was more family now at our Christmases and other holidays, but Christmas still wasn't complete. None of the holidays were, but Christmas seemed to hit the hardest because of what it was like and what it had been like in the past. Years later there still is that hole. There are now twelve in the next generation and thirteen if Teddy is counted, which he is. The hole has been filled in slightly, but it never will fully fill in. There is another Fred, but he isn't the same, even though he is a prankster and looks almost exactly like his uncle, my brother. From now on there always will be a missing piece of the family, though it is being repaired by family.

At least that hole will be there until it is time for us to meet Fred again. That is the one thing that consoles my family. Fred's not gone forever. Well, on earth he is, but we will see him again in heaven.

_**A/N this story is dedicated to all those missing family members during this holiday season. Whether your list your loved one recently or many years ago, the hole always is there. It may fill in slightly, but it never will completely. **_

_**My grandpa passed away four and a half years ago and I still miss him at the holidays. Christmas and Easter are both difficult times because Christmas is big on family for us and Easter is difficult because he passed away on Good Friday, two days before Easter. Since that time, three more people have joined our family, my niece and two more nephews. It helps some having more family, but more can never replace the ones lost.  
**_

_**Anyone who has lost a loved one close to or during a holiday would understand how this can make the holidays even harder at times. One of the main things that helps me at this time is knowing that I'll see my grandpa again one day and I hope that knowledge helps you who have lost loved ones or realities as well.**_


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